Monday, July 18, 2011

Shamed before the team

Wazzzap Mamu..
My boss shouted at me in front of the whole management team . He told me I was wrong and that he didn't want me representing the team if I didn't change my way of thinking. I've served him loyally for months. I'm so traumatised by this incident. What can I do to overcome this fear ? I tremble every time I think of facing him again.

I'm sorry to hear that. This style of feedback is harsh, especially if your boss didn't specify how you were wrong and exactly what kind of thinking he wants you to operate by.

I understand how an incident like this can cause trauma those moments, you' ve taken your boss's behaviour and made it to mean something negative about yourself.. " I'm wrong " " I'm not good enough. "Whatever you'be made it mean, you now feel weaker, confused, and fearful. These meanings in your head make you tremble in your body.

You remember what happened in the first person. for example as yourself. Now I'd  like you to step out of yourself and take up a third party position...look at the incident as if you were observing from a balcony above the meeting room. Let the incident play out. From that elevated position, what meanings can you make out about your boss and about what happened ?

Now step back even further. Take a community view. How does the incident look from the seat of governments and politics ? Take a universal view. How does everything look now that you're seated among the clouds ? You' ll find, the farther you step back, the more you disassociate from the incident, the less hurt you';; feel and the more sense and sanity you can bring back to what happened .

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